GREAT TASTES COMES IN REALLY SMALL PACKAGES

Hello guys.. yeah, i'm back and i am ready to drone off another totally senseless and really dumb blog.. uh huh.. so what does my heading mean? hmm? i would have added an upwards arrow but i dont really get the smiley and like symbols and stupid thingy stuff.. so just look at the heading.. yeah.. great tastes comes in really small packages are so because.. for example.. coke light has zero calories and it tastes oh sooooo good.. although it does not have calories resulting in no weight increase which is good for most of us... for those of us who wanna put on weight.. then go for the ever great and wonderful red coke.. which tastes abit sweeter but oh so much gassier..

Moving on.. i was watching south park today and i realised tht i was never ever tht vulgar when i was an innocent eight yr old boy.. those guys are like so over the top! okay.. maybe tht was the occasional god dammit and like that really rare fuck... but i could swear tht i never used words like donkey ball sucker or like motherfucking fat pussy.. yeah.. my vocabulary was really limited then.. i mean like those assholes just has to walk past a kitchen blender to come out ' i'd blend ur nuts in tht kitchen blender'.. man.. kids now are really really vulgar.. but oh well who knows? maybe when u come one on one with a really big bully or like someone who wants to rape u.. maybe all u have to do is like 'F*** off u motherf***ing donkey sucker!' and he will either run away or u would most probably either get raped or bullied?? lets all opt for option number one.. if u opt for option 2 there is something wrong with you.. go check ur brains u self mutilating asshole!

Ok so now since i am done with those formal vulgarities, lets move on to some sweet chick stuff.. yeah.. i was watching this chick flick...yours mine and ours.. okay this isnt really chick i guess? but it's like a family orientated show so i guess its like chick? i mean like how do u define a chick flick? must it be like a movie chalk block full of high school girls having sex almost every other day? with either really hot quarterbacks or centre forward?? i personally find tht sick.. i dont really classify big bulky guys with sweat and dirt all over their face who shout 'hike hike' every few 5 mins under sexy... yeah... ANYWAY.. i just realised tht this doesnt really cover the topic of sweet chick stuff.. so when i actually do have an rough idea on what sweet chick stuff really means.. then i would cover the topic once again..

Yeah, so every blog has a prologue and an epilogue.. and i guess this is the epilogue... of this entry at least.. uh huh.. so guys... i have decided to have like an interactive blog.. like if u have any constructive criticism or just any random lame or stupid thing u wanna get off ur chest.. just tag it all down and i will blog about it when i read it.. and if i like forget.. then tag me again.. haha.cherio!
p.s PLS NOTE THT IF U WANT ME TO BLOG ABOUT WHAT YOU SAY.. ADD A BLOGME BEFORE THE TAG! THANKS!

TRUTH DAY

THE 16TH OF NOVEMBER... BESIDES BEING ONE OF MY GOOD FRIENDS BIRTHDAY.. IS WHAT I CALL TRUTH DAY AS WELL! yeah... truth day.. its the day tht truths has to be told and lies should be done away with.. yes! we shall uphold the great history of truth day.. the noble background which this day has been built upon... the neverending story which has set many hearts ablaze.. yes.. the fire! inside all of us.. truth..... the foundation of all relationships.. yes.. so now?? we shall all sing the truth song.. ( try singing this to whatever tune tht u think its suitable)
THE TRUTH SONG:
( WE ALL NEED TRUTH!
IN THE TICKET BOOTH!
CAUSE WITHOUHT TRUTH
THERES NO POPCORN!

WE ALL DON LIE
CAUSE THEN WE SPY
BEHIND THE FLOWERS
ON THE PEOPLE IN THE SHOWERS)

ok thats as far as the truth song would go., cause i got no more ideas for any more lyrics,.. so behold truth day my fellow comrades
for we shall wave the flag of integrity and hold our heads high and march on singing this stupid song.. which we will all remember till the day we die!!!
humilty! napoleon!!!! pigs stop rolling in the mud and oink to the goodness of truth....
ok tht didnt make sense.. but! aloha!!!!!!!!
ok gtg.. bye!
p.s: u can lie if u want to........

RETARD FROG FISHES

So hey guys.. hope u guys are having an AWESOME time.. yeah... well i woke up today morning with a drive.. a drive to do something useful for the first time in the whole holidays. but i really did not know what to do.. so i decided to go online and chat with my buddies... so after an hour of chatting... i decided to stop as my back started aching and my fingers could not really type as well as they did an hour before..
so i had this embarassing encounter with this fish guy at the market yesterday.. my mum told me to get some chicken for dinner tht night.. so i set off looking for the nicest looking dead chickens in the market.. till i saw some... so it was crowded and i could not really get to the chicken stall so i decided to ask the fish guy beside it.. so i was like 'erm, could i get 2 kg of that?' and i pointed to the chickens.. the fish guy looked at me and started cursing.. so i looked carefully and realised tht there was actually a stupid WALL seperating the 2 stalls... i mean like... a stall could sell both chicken and fish at the same time right???? so was i to blame for tht moment of stupidity?? i guess not...so consoling myself with that thought.. i pushed my way past sweaty market commuters (i was one myself) and got the god damn chickens...
so passing on the poultry topics.... i really got nothing more to say.. so see u guys.. have an awesome day ahead.. and please tag me...look at that miserable piece of shit! ->
oh well.. seeu guys..
p.s dont u guys ever wonder whehter p.s stood for plaza singapura?

I AM BATTING FOR THE SAME SIDE NOW!

hello friends.. here i am again.. wondering whether this update in this blog would actually make sense.... i have been wondering..... after looking at all my previous ( too nonsensical blogs), whether i actually have a thing called a brain in my colossal body.. yeah. i am not sure whether i spelled colossal correctly... so if i did spell it wrongly... please correct me..
so.. my heading says that i am batting for the same side now.. nope i am not talking about baseball here, although it does come in somewhere in the picture... it all started ystd.. i was watching some baseball league and the yankees were beating some stupid gay team by a small margin when i was disturbed by a phonecall.. so i picked up and said.. hello.. and then i realised as the world came crashing down,, that i would not really be realising anything if the world really did come crashing down. that i could actually be called gay.. (gasps!)
now thts a big surprise..so i decided to go and test myself on how girly i was in an online test. and i realised tht i was 36 percent girly which was about 2 percent more then a certain girl name beatrice ong zhong yi. and i realised the terrible truth.. i was 36 percent gay!... and this meant that i had another 64 percent to play with... and since i am about 28 percent childish and 2 percent mature.. it meant that i was only 34 percent straight! which means that i am 2 percent more gay than i am straight!! yeah.. i realised it.. so to those u called me gay over the years.. you guys would be happy to know tht i will not be able to use the metrosexual excuse anymore.....
i have came out into the light. yeah.. the LIGHT...man.. this is bad. this is the one time in my life that i have not been able to come out with a totally cock and bull story to get myself out of a tight situation.. and this situation is seriously tight!( no pun intended)

oh well.. i shall go now until i reach another great f***ing realisation... man.. i am one sad guy..tsk tsk.. bye friends.
p.s this update was not written by martin.. it was by his OTHER SELF..

RAINING LAUDRY WATER

hey guys.. today was definitely an irritating day.. i was sent to do some errands for my auntie today and i went with a good heart, being the absolute angel and hoping to get some money out of it. but as i was walking to my aunties house, i suddenly got splashed by a stream of really black and cold water... due to my momentary shock, i did not realise tht another stream of water was coming down and i was totally drenched by the time the second stream of cursed water touched my head. i looked up expecting at least a sorry from whoever that thought tht it was a good time to be flinging water out of the window but instead i heard a stream of hokkien words followed by a few laughs and by the time i knew it, the window was closed shut as if there wasnt an occupant in the flat at all.. dam that evil bitch... i hoped that the black water meant that her clothes had colour ran and with that hope, i walked home. suddenly feeling much happier.
passing on water topics, the meeting at church today was totally boring and i spent 2 hours in a super cold room seriously wondering whether my bladder could really take anymore torture..i did want to relieve myself but it was kinda dark and i was kinda scared. so i decided to hold it...although the dead look on my face showed it all.. but after relieving my really full bladder and thawing myself in the warm singapore air, i decided to eat supper! the egg pratas were superb. and the thought of wonderful japanese anime filled my mind as i was walking home. although i reached home late and missed the whole wonderful episode of inuyasha, i felt good cause i had just burst the hugest most colossal pimple on my face.. it would have been a tsunami if i was an ant.. the whole mirror was filled with wonderful yellow pus and blood.. and i had a hard time cleaning up.. its a wonder how much blood a thing of about 4 cm could hold..
oh well i was talking to cheryl tan today and i realised how inferior i felt to her.. i did not even dare to race her.. cause the chance that she might win me is always there and i did not want to take another banana smoothie down my pants.. oh well.. some girls just nvr give up... what can i say..
thts all for this absolute dumb day and i hope tht u guys would either feel sad for me or even feel just a tad entertained by what i had just shared. haha. take care world.. welcome sleep!
p.s. the pimple wasnt that huge

WORK IS A BORE

Hey guys, i am back after a 5 day stint at john littles specialist centre. i don even get why they call it the specialist centre. Firstly, it kinda small compared to the other john littles all over singapore and secondly the people working in it seem to take either malay or hokkien as their national language.
So i was standing in the cargo lift on monday trying my best to manage a carton of really heavy metal pieces.. not that i was complaining or anything but it was really heavy and i could have sworn that there was a really big ungly insect thing looking at me. yeah tht insect thought it was hilarious to see me struggle. yeah, but he does not know he is the one thats gonna get squashed sooner or later. oh well, till that fateful day, laugh away insect asshole. haha and adding to that, a large grp of malay guys came in and started laughing. they began to talk in a long string of really hard to understand malay and one guy actually pointed at me. i was wondering whether there was something on my face till i finally realised the truth, my fly was kinda halfway down. okay maybe 3 quarters of the way down.
ooh well, moving on to more wonderful topics.. i was at topman the other day and i totally coveted a black coloured pair of really nice and sexy skinny jeans. it was so sexy tht i had to try it and realised that the only time which i would feel comfortable in it would be when i was wearing really thin underwear so as to avoid the subject of a sweaty ass.
anyway. if u guys want to surprise me, i promise i will act surprised!
nah i am kidding, well i am 250 dollars richer and i am one job down. i hope to get at least 2 other jobs and earn my keep for the stupid hols. and then spend it once i get it and worry about the money for xmas presents another day.. speaking of which X MAS IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER! and orchard road would be once again be filled with the christmas spirit and the constant worry of whether the stupid reindeer tht is hanging on the ERP would drop and demolish at least 2 cars that was unlucky enough to be under it.. and shopping centres with huge christmas trees which would start to make u wonder how in the world did the guys who built it find ladders long enough to reach the top and place that very gold angel on top of it...
oh well, wonders of the world. anyway, till nxt time.
p.s dont u all love x mas. ahhh!